Was there marketing for this? The only reason I checked it out was because of a headline saying, "Rom-com, Horror, Sci-Fi Movie is Insane," somewhere on social media. Then, I showed a trailer to friends for Valentine's Day and no one had ever heard of it. And, they do watch Severance, part of the same streaming service. So, way to go Apple+, I'm telling people about this, because you sure didn't care to.
So here's the story of Scott Derrickson's Resident Evil, I mean The Gorge. The hotties are both mercenary assassins good with guns. Best at sharpshooting. One from East, Anya and one from the West, Miles. They slowly fall in love over a secret gorge that might be the doorway to Hell. Wait, what? Yes, the crazy premise is they are on opposite sides of a giant gorge and have to kill whatever comes out of it. They're cut off from the rest of the world. It's sort of like American meets a Russian, even though Anya plays Lithuanian. And, with nothing much else to do, they sort of hook up over time...over a Hell gorge. And, sometimes it's really cute.
And other times monsters crawl and want to kill them.
The trailer already illuminates they end up in the gorge and without going over what you think it is, it is definitely Resident Evil. I'm not sure if director Scott Derrickson was supposed to direct a film based on the video game our at least come up with a new direction for it, but there's no way it wasn't inspired or isn't some sort of inside f u to whomever dropped him from development of it. So, imagine a competent director making a modern Resident Evil with a big budget movie now with those two leads. Or just watch the second half of the movie.
Oddly, a good rom-com,sci-fi horror film as the media click bait said it was.
Heart Eyes is a perfect rom-com horror comedy. It blends so damn well, it's hard to believe Josh Ruben wrote and directed it. Why am I going after Josh Ruben? Because, I heard him on both Doug Loves Movies and Colors of the Dark podcasts and he made me fall a sleep when he talked on them. Seriously, he did not bring his A game to those podcasts and I think almost made me not want to see this film for his lack of energy and wit on those shows. Drink some coffee before doing those things, Josh
Luckily, I really loved him in his other film Scare Me and his other writing works. Oh, and as I said Heart Eyes is great.
Taking bits from a Hallmark movie set story with an ad exec in trouble. Her last campaign dying and a knight in shining armor as a new love interest set to help her, you'd think you were watching a regular rom com. That is, if you missed the totally brutal start of the film that, of course, takes place on a beautiful vineyard. And, shows off our brazen slasher, an emoji of heart eyes sickly made real in mask form, taking down a couple you would've wished dead anyway.
Our ad execs, played by Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding have great chemistry together, sadly the chemistry tricks the Heart Eyes Killer to go after the non-couple after a fake kiss to look good in front of an ex looks way too convincing.
What follows is a Valentine's evening of Hell as Heart Eyes has them in their sights with brutal kills for whomever gets in their way.
A perfect mix of brutality with over-the-top kills, cute hook-up moments and dark humor jokes surprised me how well it all came together. So enjoy your champagne with blood and start guessing who has eyes for our lovebirds.
*Scene after the credits
In theaters now
