Here's a list of all the X-Mas horror that's come on for the holidays, updated with reviews for the ones we watched. All are available for stream or rent.
It's A Wonderful Knife
On Shudder on AMC+ and Everywhere you Rent Movies
Synopsis:
A
year after saving her town from a psychotic killer on Christmas Eve,
Winnie Carruthers’ life is less than wonderful — but when she wishes
she’d never been born, she finds herself in a nightmare parallel
universe and discovers that without her, things could be much, much
worse. Now the killer is back, and she must team up with the town misfit
to identify the killer and get back to her own reality.
* Been waiting on this one, and it's a friggin mess, but fun. The other time travel slasher film that came out this year, Totally Killer, is just better. There's some big jumps here in logic on the why and it could have had some more creative Christmas kills.
Coming to VOD and Digital Platforms December 8th
Synopsis:
After
suffering a brutal attack on Christmas eve, a young woman, Nikki,
struggles to convince her friends that the assailant was none other than
Ol' Kris Kringle. When Santa returns to terrorize the group in their
remote cabin the next Christmas, Nikki and her friends must overcome
disbelief as they fight to stay alive.
* Anything from XYZ I'll give a shot.
Silent Night
For rent online
Synopsis:
From
legendary director John Woo and the producer of John Wick comes this
gritty revenge tale of a tormented father (Joel Kinnaman) who witnesses
his young son die when caught in a gang’s crossfire on Christmas Eve.
While recovering from a wound that costs him his voice, he makes
vengeance his life’s mission and embarks on a punishing training regimen
in order to avenge his son’s death. Full of Woo’s signature style,
Silent Night redefines the action genre with visceral, thrill-a-minute
storytelling.
* The creator of Face-Off made a Christmas movie? And, the main character doesn't talk? My friends could not really get it that he and everyone else don't say anything. I'd say it's John Woo with a small budget. Nothing that over the top or ridiculous and coming from John Woo...that kind of sucks. The movie is mostly a montage until a third act of non-stop extreme violence.
The Sacrifice Game
Streaming on Shudder
Synopsis:
The
Blackvale School for Girls, 1971. It’s bad enough that students
Samantha and Clara can’t go home for the holidays, but things take a
deadly turn when a gang of cult killers arrives at their doorstep—just
in time for Christmas.
* Look like a classic 70's evil Satanic cult film.
Werewolf Santa
Can rent online now
Synopsis:
Santa
turns into a werewolf on Christmas Eve, and wreaks havoc in a small
seaside town - Lucy has a show called 'Monster Hunter's' on Youtube, but
it's not doing too great with just a few viewers following her. That is
until, on Christmas Eve, her camera witnesses Santa get bit by a
werewolf in the local park, before turning into a werewolf himself. Lucy
and her family then set off on a Christmas Eve adventure to somehow
save Christmas, armed with just a rusty ice skate and a vague
understanding of how werewolves operate.
*This was just bad on every level, from design to writing, usually you can give something to a film that tries and I honestly think the people did, but no one told them they're terrible. Not worth it even for a so-bad-it's-good.
The Mean One
Can rent online now
Synopsis:
In
a sleepy mountain town, Cindy's parents are murdered and her Christmas
is stolen by a bloodthirsty green figure in a red Santa suit.
*They
can't legally say it, but it's the Grinch going on a murder spree on
Christmas. Sounds like the perfect stupid X-Mas horror for some. Very
bad reviews.
On SCREAMBOX and for rent this December
Synopsis:
Max
was only six years old when he accidentally burned Santa to a crisp on
Christmas Eve. 12 years later, Max attempts to raise Santa from the dead
in order to fix his past mistakes and restore the Christmas spirit. But
he soon realizes that the creature he has created is a bloodthirsty
killer – and it’s headed straight for the town's Christmas party! Buckle
in for some bloody holiday cheer that will leave you having a
ho-ho-whole lot of fun!
*It just looks so cheap, solid, ridiculous concept, terribly made.
Streaming now on SCREAMBOX and for rent online
Synopsis:
Christmas
dinner brings tidings of death when someone enacts revenge, and out of
the bloody madness rises a hero who must face all odds to stop an
outbreak before it's too late.
*Claim to fame from director Adam Marcus, who did Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. Looks like it was shelved for quite a few years as I see it being completed 2017-2018.
On SCREAMBOX and for rent online now
Synopsis:
The
sheriff of a small town is a serial killer. A mysterious woman visits
him and starts a conversation about the crimes he committed.
*It just doesn't look that good.
Out for rent online
Synopsis
: A mysterious and psychopathic Santa visits a small, rural town with a
bag full of unusual gifts and twisted holiday stories featuring
Krampus, a murderous St. Nick and killer carol singers that are certain
to ruin the Christmas season forever.
A Creature Was Stirring
For rent online
Synopsis:
As
a Christmas blizzard rages outside, Faith, a nurse, keeps her daughter
Charm locked in her room, injected with "holiday cheer," methadone, to
sustain a delicately balanced fever--"treatment" for a mysterious
affliction. When drifters Kory and Liz break in seeking shelter, they
quickly discover that Faith's relationship with Charm stretches the
limits of dysfunction, and both of them are concealing the malevolent
fifth houseguest lurking in the shadows. Hint: it ain’t Santa.
*Woah, what do I even say about this. A great creature feature set around Christmas with some really f'd up sh*t. And a horny Green Lantern sex dream? They even reference real Green Lantern comic story arcs, specially Emerald Twilight.
Add, well a Were-Porcupine that looks like Rattma's cousin from V/H/S 94 who has some Sonic the Hedgehog moves.
This almost completely won me over if not for it's what-a-twist ending that's justs so horrible you might start laughing of how absurd it is.
The following are coming to Lifetime and then will be available online digitally.
Silent Night, Fatal Night
Synopsis:
Mallory
Dearborn (Alex Camacho) is one of the best-selling mystery writers in
the market. Against the wishes of her manager Michael (Matthew
Pohlkamp), she’s decided to end her long-running detective franchise and
focus on more personal matters. Desperate for a big payday, Michael
takes her prisoner and, convincing the world she’s passed away, forces
her to write a new, posthumous novel. Now, Mallory will spend the
holidays writing her most thrilling story yet: her own escape.
* Been reading reviews and this apparently has little to nothing to do with X-Mas and just kind of sucks.
A Cowboy Christmas Romance
Synopsis:
One
week before Christmas, a huge business deal sends real estate “closer”
Lexie Crenshaw (Jana Kramer) back to a place she swore she’d never
return to: her hometown of Tubac, Arizona. Back on the range, Lexie must
convince Coby Mason (Adam Senn), a horse-whispering rancher, to part
ways with his family’s land, while navigating her relationship with her
father (Bruce Thomas) and brothers she left behind, leading her to
reconsider the life she gave up 10 years ago.
*Ooh boy, the hype about the sex scenes in this was just that, hype. The movie is just a regular totally nonsense driven Lifetime Christmas movie of a woman giving up her career to have a family.
One for the Jews
Round and Round
Should be streaming or be able rent online through Hallmark
Synopsis:
Rachel’s
stuck in a time loop, reliving the night of her parents’ Hanukkah
party. Can Zach, the “nice boy” Grandma’s trying to set her up with,
help her make it to tomorrow? Starring Vic Michaelis, Bryan Greenberg
and Rick Hoffman.
*This might have been my holiday favorite. It also actually references real nerd stuff as the heroine visits a comic book store for help.
Oh, and there's now a shared Hanukkah Hallmark Cinematic Universe as the Deli/Bakery from last year's movie Hanukkah on Rye is visited multiple loops. I hope they keep connecting them all.
