Wednesday, April 1, 2026

The Real L.A. Material

 -Editorial
 

 
 
As some of you might have been reading, a new news site launched a week ago, but what you didn't know was that it was a stolen idea from Things To Do In LA/ TTDILA. As such, we're presenting THE REAL L.A. MATERIAL. The new site that should have been, with the in-depth stories on LA and pop-culture instead of that garbage rag that some former L.A. Time poo-poo heads put out. Please enjoy the latest news in the sweet vulnerable underbelly of our fair city of LA.
 
 Your Truly,
Ayes Avenport
Editor-n-Chief of The Real L.A. Material 
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Five Minutes Before My Pants Blew Up With Diarrhea In The L.A. Mayoral Race

 

By Ulia Ick

1st Minute

On this balmy morning, only five minutes remained before, my pants would have a hole in them. If only I could get into the stall being used by Mayor Karen Bass in this unisex restroom in town hall. I say, "Ms. Mayor are you almost done in there, I know you have a lot on your plate, but I had a lot on mine." Why did I go for the hottest bird at Howlin' Ray's?

2nd Minute

Another stall, opens, but before I can get to it, Nithya Raman, Los Angeles City Councilmember, blindsides me and takes it. "Oh, c'mon," I shout. "Weren't you just waiting for the mayor?" I spout. At least from that end. My other end isn't looking so good.

3rd Minute

I think I'm seeing new colors. Bass and Raman are just going at it. And by it, I mean farting. Finally some relief, when I hear a flush, but I'm pushed aside by County Supervisor Lindsey Horvath. I fall to the ground. Almost leaking. She doesn't say, "Excuse me", she just takes another stall as I crawl, one hand holding my stomach, the other holding my butt.

4th minute

Why can't I just poop? Tech entrepreneur Adam Miller is why, he steps in on his phone, trips over me and never looks up. As he gets up, he somehow gets into a stall as someone gets out like some sort of French comedian in a 60's movies. I'd laugh, if it didn't mean I being adding artwork to the walls.

5th minute

Rick Caruso comes in. Surveys the situation. He sees me in my time of need. Rick tells me, "Come here, let me show you something." I get up and follow him just outside. He takes out a key and unlocks a door next to the restroom. It slowly opens. It's some sort of private restroom. It's magical. A beautiful looking art deco design with the contemporary needs of the average LAian met. He then tells me, "You should have voted for me for mayor." And, slams the door in my face.

Then, I crapped my pants. 

 

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(THIS ONE'S REAL) Weekly What To Do: Easter Or Passover You're Stuck With Family This Weekend, Unless You Just Don't Care


 
Sacred Fools' Birthday Festival
Three nights! April 1, 2 & 3! All events are Donate-What-You-Can!

Night 1 (April 1, 7:00P), Our inaugural Artists in Residence have been cooking up something special! Come have some cake on our birthday and hear about the amazing work planned for the upcoming year! Champagne! Snacks and celebration! Tickets: https://thebroadwater.stagey.net/projects/14074

Night 2 (April 2, 7:00P), Join us for a cozy evening of nostalgia as we read a script from the Sacred Fools archives. We’re thrilled to be presenting Padraic Duffy’s Feet for the first time since 2001! Tickets: https://thebroadwater.stagey.net/projects/14075

Night 3 (April 3, 8:00P), Shhh!! Meet us in the Black Box for a one-of-a-kind dance party experience. Tickets: https://thebroadwater.stagey.net/projects/14076?tab=details
 
Thursday, Apr 2 from 5 pm to 11 pm
Angel City Brewery Los Angeles, CA
0 OR $55.20 for $55.20 for VIP package
 
Dive deep into nightmares at Night Frights LA's Elm Street bash—horror, thrills, and spooky chills await!
 
Heated Rivalry: The Deeply Unauthorized Musical Parody
Thursday, April 2, 2026 – 7:00 pm   
LA - FRANKLIN
$17.94
 
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rosanov are the hottest players on the ice. But when ice meets heat, it gets WET! Will Shane and Ilya show butt on stage? What did Rose & Svetlana really think about being beards? And who is keeping track of all these time jumps?

You’ve seen the show. You got turned on. You cried. Sometimes at the same time. Now come see the earnest show about gay sex and hockey. Enjoy songs and jokes, and find out how many pucking innuendos we can fit into one show. This is “HEATED RIVALRY.”
 
OC JAPAN FAIR is back on April 3-5! OC Japan Fair is the largest and the most authentic Japanese cultural festival in Southern California, with upgrading to more than 250 booths! We offer many opportunities to experience and learn about Japanese entertainment, tradition, culture, pop culture, and food.
 
NOIR CITY: Hollywood 2026
Fri. Apr 3 - Sun. Apr 5 and Fri. Apr 10 - Sun. Apr 12, 2026
Egyptian Theatre
Co-Presented by the Film Noir Foundation
$

NOIR CITY: Hollywood returns to the Egyptian Theatre with 'FACE THE MUSIC!,' a 20-film lineup over two weekends to kick out the jams with live musical performances, conversations with actors Pat Boone and Elliot Gould and more guests to be announced. From early examples of Hollywood noir like BLUES IN THE NIGHT (1941) to jazz-fueled sixties gems like ALL NIGHT LONG (1962) and A MAN CALLED ADAM (1966), the movies feature genuine musical legends performing alongside film noir favorites including Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Ida Lupino, Kirk Douglas and Ann Sheridan.
 
April 3, 7:30 pm
Billy Wilder Theater
Free

In person: Introduction, including a brief talk, by Artel Great, associate professor, San Francisco State University School of Cinema, and author of The Black Pack: Comedy, Race, and Resistance. Q&A with actor Anne-Marie Johnson and Spring Mooney, daughter of comedian and actor Paul Mooney. Great will sign copies of his book before the screening, beginning at 6:30 p.m.
 
Sat, Apr 4, 2026 | 11am PT
Follow That Bird with director Ken Kwapis
In person: director Ken Kwapis and Debra Spinney
Sat, Apr 4, 2026 | 3pm PT
Ted Mann Theater
$5

Hayao Miyazaki’s debut feature revisits a character he directed for television―gentleman thief Lupin the 3rd. Grandson to Maurice Leblanc’s French literary master thief Arsène Lupin, Lupin the 3rd is
a Swinging Sixties-style, James Bond-like charmer who steals for thrills. Stuck with counterfeit bills after a Monaco casino heist, Lupin and his sidekicks hightail it to the mysterious principality of Cagliostro to find the source of the fake money. In the process, the trio becomes embroiled in palace intrigue between Count Cagliostro and Princess Clarisse. An energetic caper, Lupin the 3rd: The Castle of Cagliostro is a stylish start to a brilliant oeuvre. 
 
The first feature-length theatrical film to bring this small-screen community to the big screen, Follow That Bird is a freewheeling road musical that follows 8-foot-tall avian Big Bird (Carroll Spinney in a heart-melting performance) from his placement with a foster family to his trek back to his real home on Sesame Street. 
 
 
 
 
Fri, Apr 3 2026 
8:00 - 11:59pm
Cabrillo Marine Aquarium
3720 Stephen M White Dr, San Pedro, CA 90731
 $10 adults and $5 seniors, students and children. 
(Friends members Free).

Watch the captivating grunion come up on the beach to spawn! Learn about the interesting mating rituals and biology of this curious fish. The program includes an auditorium program about the unique fish followed by a guided observation at the beach. Warm clothing and a flashlight are recommended. During April, May and June (closed season) grunion may be observed but not touched. March and July are open season, when grunion may only be taken by hand. Grunion hunters, 16 years or older, must have a valid California Fishing License.
 
APRIL 4th, 2026
LA Center Studios
Admission is valid for noon to 3pm or 5pm to 8pm. 
$55 
 
The LA Beer Fest returns for the 20th Anniversary!  Featuring over 80 breweries, 200 beers, cover bands, DJ truck, and LA’s best food trucks, the event promises to be a unique experience for beer lovers.  Admission includes unlimited samplings with food sold separately.
 
 
 
 
 
 
If you find yourself in Sherman Oaks, California in the next month, you might find us, too! GeekyGlamorous will be hosting a Fangamer pop-up shop from April 4 to May 9th. Stop by Tuesday to Saturday from 12 PM to 7 PM to see some favorites from across our catalog in person. 
 
Geeky Glamorous
13634 Burbank Blvd, Sherman Oaks, CA 91401





Saturdays and Sundays April 4 – May 17, 2026 · 10 a.m. – 7 p.m.
Only minutes from Pasadena at the Santa Fe Dam Recreation Area
15501 E. Arrow Highway, Irwindale, CA 
$28.00 - $275.00
 
We offer the public an opportunity to experience a true Renaissance of our Renaissance, one that was introduced 60 years ago. The Faire is one of the most diverse places on Earth and an escape from the stresses and demands of the modern-day. We offer cutting-edge performances, artisans, and culinary delights.


April 5, 7:00 pm
Billy Wilder Theater
Free
 
A Depression era-set Southern Gothic thriller, The Night of the Hunter tells an adult story through the eyes of children. Actor-turned-director Charles Laughton described it as a “fairy tale of the Big Bad Wolf’s pursuit of the Little Pigs.” Robert Mitchum stars as the wolf in preacher’s clothing pursuing the two children of a widow (Shelley Winters) who know about a stash of ill-gotten loot. A dream-like work thanks in part to the unique cinematography by Stanley Cortez, it turns feverishly on dualities — heaven and hell, good versus evil, the sacred and profane — while paying homage to the silent era with Lillian Gish also starring.—Theater Manager Lauren Brown
 

EASTER SECRET SCREENING EVENT
Sunday, Apr 5 from 7:30 pm to 11 pm
Killer Fitness
822 N Hollywood Way Burbank, CA
$13
 
Get weird with Killer Fitness for a debaucherous Easter Sunday
What better way to spend an Easter Sunday than with the weirdos at Killer Fitness!?!?!
We're screening a SECRET, currently unreleased ICONIC film in its most UNCUT version.
There will be an easter egg hunt, photo ops and more fun debauchery to be had at this special event!!! 


Zombie Joe's F*CKED-UP EASTER EGG HUNT
Easter SUN APRIL 5 @ 4p / 5p / 6p / 7p / 8p and MON APRIL 6 @ 7p / 8p / 9p
at ZJU Theatre Group, 4850 Lankershim Blvd., N. Hollywood CA 91601
 $20 Advance TIX at:  ZombieJoes.TIX.com ($25 at door)
18+ 
 
 Join Forces with Farmer FukkFace and His Merry Band of Evil Prankster-Jackrabbits in jumping Ears-first into an Apocalyptic Scavenger Egg Hunt thru the Spring Pastel & Faux-Grass Inferno O' Easter Hell...Lions, Tigers and Bears, Ohhh My!  A Zany, Fun N' Freaky, Hare-Raising, Interactive, 35-minute, 18+ "Furry-Gentle-Varmint" Egg-Hunt-Maze & Theatre Spooktacular!  
 
ART SHOWS 
 
Saturday Apr 4, 2026 8:00 PM
Hammer Museum
10899 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90024
This event is free and open to the public. 

Celebrate the opening of Several Eternities in a Day: Form in the Age of Living Materials alongside a dynamic lineup of new spring exhibitions. Explore the galleries after hours with late-night access, soundtracked by DJs from Chulita Vinyl Club in the courtyard.

Throughout the evening, enjoy interactive moments including a photobooth and a hands-on cyanotype art-making activity. Food and drinks will be available for purchase all night. 

 
ART COLLECTOR STARTER KIT XI GROUP SHOW
A COLLECTION OF 12" X 12" WORKS
Four-Artist Exhibition
Featuring solo shows by
Dave Shuten (A Spark of Color)
and Fabez (DETOUR)
Ramiro Davaro‑Comas (Wooden Toys)
and Harald Austad (POWER PORTRAITS)
OPENING RECEPTIONS

April 4, 2026 | 7:00 pm – 11:00 pm
ON VIEW
April 4 – May 9, 2026
COREY HELFORD GALLERY
571 S. Anderson St. Los Angeles, CA 90033

Please join us on Saturday, April 4, from 7-11 PM for the eleventh annual CHG Art Collector Starter Kit (ACSK XI) group show. This beloved tradition will feature affordable new 12” x 12” works from over 120 established and emerging artists from around the world. As well as four solo shows in adjacent galleries.

On display in the Main Gallery through May 9th, ACSK XI offers a great opportunity for newer collectors and enthusiasts with limited space or budgets to purchase an original piece of art from their favorite CHG artist. Smaller, more affordable works by the artists everyone loves were the inciting idea behind CHG’s popular annual group show when it launched in 2013. The gallery continues its mission of spreading the joy and satisfaction of art appreciation and collecting to a wider public.

 

 
& More Art Show Openings
Opening Reception with the Artists:
Saturday, April 4, 2026 6:00-10:00PM 
THINKSPACE PROJECTS
4217 W. Jefferson Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90016
 
 

Joel Nakamura, Nathan Ota, and Yumi Yamazaki: Whimsy Kimaguré Opening at Giant Robot 2 Gallery on April 4
 
Giant Robot 2 Gallery is proud to announce Whimsy Kimaguré, a group exhibition featuring the works of Joel Nakamura, Nathan Ota, and Yumi Yamazaki. This showcase brings together three distinct artistic voices that explore themes of imagination and playful unpredictability through their unique visual styles. The exhibition opens on Saturday, April 4, with a digital live stream and web sales beginning at 12:00 PM, followed by an in-person opening reception from 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Located at 2026 Sawtelle Blvd in Los Angeles, Giant Robot 2 Gallery continues its tradition of highlighting innovative contemporary artists within the vibrant Sawtelle community.
 
Eastwood Performing Arts Center
1089 North Oxford Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90029
$14.64
 
Join Night Frights LA for a special screening of the modern horror classic It Follows — the chilling indie sensation that redefined slow-burn terror for a new generation of horror fans.
 
 Even More To Do:
 
The DTLA Alliance Community Trust, in partnership with the Colburn School, is presenting Lunchtime Concerts at Colburn, a weekly midday performance series taking place every Tuesday from April 7th through May 5th (12:00pm-1:00pm) at Colburn Plaza in DTLA.

Designed as an easy cultural break during the workday, the series invites Downtown workers, residents and visitors to enjoy live music and dance performed by Colburn’s students. The one hour performances are free and open to the public, offering an accessible way to experience high quality arts programming in the heart of the city.

To further encourage foot traffic and local engagement, attendees will also have the chance to win a weekly $25 gift card to nearby California Plaza dining spots.
 

 
UCB, a cheapo comedy show almost every night, see comedians before they make podcasts and have
stories about the UCB and before they hit the big time.



 
Little Tokyo Farmers' Market Saturdays
9:00 am - 2:00 pm every Sat
Isamu Noguchi Plaza
244 S. San Pedro Street, Los Angeles, CA 90012
Free
 
"Join us at the Little Tokyo Farmers’ Market, a vibrant new Saturday tradition in the heart of Little Tokyo. Presented in partnership by JACCC and Food Access LA, this weekly market brings together fresh, affordable produce, rich cultural experiences, and meaningful community connection."
 

 

American Cinematheque-A celebrated independent theater group that brings both the talent and catalog of films to make for some of LA's best movie nights.
 


Check out classics and cult movies just a few stories above street level. Rooftop Movies at The Montalbán. & Rooftop Cinema Club

 New Bev-Tarantino owned independent theater with old school style
 
Brain Dead Studios-manages to fill its schedule almost every night
611 N Fairfax Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90036
 
Vidiots -A one-of-a-kind hub for film lovers, filmmakers, and everyone curious about cinema. A small theater is more than made-up for with the constant content and special screenings.
4884 Eagle Rock Blvd
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Netflix Hearing It's Fans Out: "We've Heard What You've Said, Steel Ball Run Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Will Not Be Released In Batches"

 
By Auren Ans

 
After the turmoil the news caused that Steel Ball Run Jojo's Bizarre Adventure would be released in batches again after the controversy of the release of the previous Jojo's series Stone Ocean, Netflix wisely listened to its fans. Instead of not giving any response at all, Netflix immediately apologized and said it was going to have concrete schedule once David Productions finished animating the full series in the next year or two. And, they'd be keeping fans in the loop on the status of the production, so they know when the show's actually finished and would be ready to be released.

Ted Saranos, "Yeah, we get it. We've heard what you've said, Steel Ball Run Jojo's Bizarre Adventure will not be released in batches. We missed the finish line with this one, but there's still more race to be had. Sorry."
 
Fans loved the animation of the first episode, but were dismayed when no schedule for upcoming episodes could be found or was announced. Then further dismay came by the grim confusing reveal of a "2026" as the next episode date at a panel for the production in Japan. Luckily, those fears were forgotten when the billion dollar company acted as such in a decisive way and with an approach they gained it favor with the people it's trying to impress by asking forgiveness and righting the wrongs it so callously caused that it was already made painfully aware of.
 
Disney+ applauded the news with a confirmed release date for X-Men '97 Season 2 this May 10th.
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Jury Duty Presents: Company Retreat Maybe Not The Best Name For Show

 

By  Att Amilton

Jury Duty the original show came out 3 years ago. 3 years later Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky the creators of the show have run out of money and must make another Jury Duty. But they can't use the same name. Amazon tells them they need some connection to the first show so people no what they're in for. And, like a movie trailer using credits like "from the producers of" not being enough, another dark step was taken. 

One lazy executive had the wherewithal to say, "Call it. Jury Duty Presents. So, people know that the people who made that show made this one." 

"Can't we just use our names or in the trailer or go 'from the makers of Jury Duty'? Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky sheepishly asked Amazon.

"NO! What are you stupid?", Amazon said to them as it blew smoke in their faces. And, they added, "Now take your pile of money and don't bother us for another 3 years, that's how cockamamy seasons work here NOW!


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Olympics Cancelled: Way To Go Jeff

 

By Ablo Oldstein

Thanks, Jeff! You massive dork! Oy vey. Ughhh, the Olympics, the 130-year-old institution will not be happening in LA thanks to one man, Jeff. Jeff, didn't sign a form, so, we guess, no Olympics for LA. So, all the hard work done by countless citizens and businesses in and around LA will not be done. 

All that hard work going into 2028 and after the reveal of the basic b^$ch reveal of the super bloom as our visual identity for the games. Truly, it would have been spectacular. We mean up our own a$$ nonsense that makes LA great.

Did you know our logo, past-tense had an interchangeable A made different artists and so called celebrities not yet in trouble. As of writing this their were 42 As.


 Jeff, you're such a jerk!

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Move Over Shohei Ohtani Souvenir Cup, Dodger Stadium Has A Pricer Item Existence

 


By Omo Hien

Don't worry Dodger fans the price of the Shohei Ohtani Souvenir Cup has gone done from $75 smackaroos to $69 as a joke on sex. And, free refills for the rest of the season.

Do worry as Dodger Stadium is implementing it's newest policy of just taking all the money out of your wallet when you're there. The next time you come to Dodger Stadium every last dollar, coin, credit card and bit of crypto will be drained from you. Vacuums, guard dogs, small people with glue on their hands will go through your pockets, fanny packs and purses to get every last ounce of currency.

Executive Vice President & Chief Operating Officer Bob Wolfe said, "How the f*#k do you think we were gonna pay for Shohei Ohtani's $700 million contract! You get down to Dodger Stadium and you give us all your money!, " as he frothed at the mouth. He then turned red in the face, fell forward onto his desk having a heart attack.

Next week's game will be a memorial game in his honor. You can get a Hello Kitty Head Flopper if you come early, so don't miss it. 

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